Happy New Year!! I pray that you are off to a wonderful start.  I love the holidays and all of the fun activities, but also very much enjoy getting back in the swing of things when the new year arrives.  I pray that 2016 is a year of wonder, blessing, strength, and much boasting in the glory of the Father for you and yours!!

We closed out 2015 focused on praying for our teens.  Thank you for your time in that series of blogs with us.  I know that prayer moves mountains and it is His good pleasure to act on behalf of our teens and our families.  Those of you who know me well or even those of you who regularly read the blog know that often I can go through a gentle and quiet phase…but such as is my personality, on a regular basis, I cannot resist having a rant.   So fair warning, this one has been a long time coming!

PLEASE…READ YOUR TEENS TEXTS, GROUPME FEEDS, AND ALL SOCIAL MEDIA!

I don’t understand parents who choose not to ever check in on what your teenagers are discussing, who they are discussing things with and the colorful language your teen uses in these discussions…what would you have those of us moms do who do check up on our teens when we have serious concerns with what we see coming from yours?

Over the past few months, I have been sickened, concerned, and heartbroken over posts to social media, things in group texts, or on the GroupMe type apps being used today.  I have heard kids talking about porn, joking about the sexual exploits of their peers, stepping over the line razzing each other, and using repulsive language.  And I am not just talking about teens in general…I am talking about teens I adore.  Teens I respect.  Teens I have the privilege to cheer for at games and stand with during difficult life circumstances.  It literally breaks my heart.

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”  James 3:9 – 10

I don’t care if we are talking about a teen boy or girl…this should not be.

• It is not okay for them to “F” this and “F” that all over texting and social media. I can’t believe the use of language that is ramped all over the place.  If you allow your teen to speak and communicate this way…it doesn’t mean you respect their privacy or that “that’s just the way teens talk”…no, that is the way this teen speaks and they are proving that they have no self-control or discipline.
• It is not okay for them to be left unsupervised with a boyfriend or girlfriend. If teens are allowed to be alone with, take trips with, become much too physically familiar with their boyfriend or girlfriend (well heck with just any guy or girl these days)…then let’s try not to act too awfully surprised when someone gets pregnant or gets a disease.  Let’s just admit that, at best, we did nothing to stop it and, at worst, we condoned it.
• It is not okay for them to look at pornography on their phones, iPad, and computer. I have no words to adequately communicate my heart on this one.  Some say, “Boys will be boys…all teenage boys look at it.”  Well, I’m not buying it.  This is so out of control in our society that I have recently visited with two 8 year old girls who stumbled on to a porn site and now say they can’t stop searching for it.  It is not normal, healthy, or Christ-like.  Stop allowing it in your home. Stop turning a blind eye, not using filters, not taking time to check- in and hold them accountable.
• It is not okay for teens to get drunk and do all kinds of ridiculous things at parties and it certainly isn’t okay for one parent to supply alcohol and especially to someone else’s teen. I don’t have time or space to share all the stories I have heard about an adult getting another’s teenager drunk.  That is simply wrong and all so that a 40 year old adult can be called “cool” by a group of teenagers.  I’d be happy to pass on a Prom King or Queen crown to you if that would mean you would leave our teens alone.  Congratulations, you’re “popular”.

So my question remains, what would you have those of us moms do who do check up on our teens when we have serious concerns with what we see coming from yours?

Well I can only speak for myself, here’s what I will do … nothing.  If something were said to you, you would likely be offended and probably rightly so.  But, though I will not have the chance to and maybe shouldn’t have the chance to say to the teens I care so deeply about and am so concerned about, here is what I would say…

“I see you.  Not the “you” that you are working so hard to convey, but the real you.  I see some of your strengths, the things that make you …you…and wow, are you amazing.  I see some of the talent that He has placed in you.  You were born for greatness.  You have a destiny and a calling and no one else on this entire planet can play your part.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made and I cannot wait to see all that the Lord has in store for you.

This is not a game.  You don’t get a pass because you are young.  You have a very real enemy and he would love nothing more than to take you out.  To gently distract and point you down a path that leads to nothing short of your demise.  He will put temptations and obstacles in your path and he will count on you being like so many others.  Weak.  Insecure.  Afraid and easily swayed…but he will be wrong.

Because you are not in this alone.  Your parents are standing on your behalf and they will do all that they can to support you when you are following Him and to steer you toward Him when you aren’t.  They are your protection and your provision.  Trust them.  And then there is Him, the King of all creation, and He is fighting for you.  He has prepared good works in advance for you.  He has called you to be something extraordinary…now let’s chase Him.  And I can give you my word that I am always in your corner and would do anything in my power to help you be all that you were created to be.

Is it easy?  No.  Is the bar set high?  You bet it is!  We need you to be more and to be great.  We need you to change the world.  Only Jesus is the King, but you are a hero in your story…act like it.”

Maybe we parents should take that last line to heart as well…Only Jesus is the King, but you are a hero in your child’s story…act like it.

Rant over.

Much love,