A study surveyed 1,000 teens ages 13 – 17.  I found many of the statistics interesting, but a couple really struck me.

90% said that they have used social media (texting, Facebook, my space, instagram, twitter, etc.)*

41% said that they are “addicted” to their cell phones.*

<img title=”Social Media and our Kids” src=”https://candygibbs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/iphone4.jpg” alt=”Candy Gibbs, Pearls, Chosen, Purity Curriculum, parenting, parents, parenthood, parenting resources, positive parenting, raising children, help for parents, parent help, teenagers, how to parent a teenager, how to parent, parents of teenagers, purity, mentoring, mentor, mentors, mentor programs, mentoring programs, social media and teens, tips for social media for teens, teen social media tips, tips for parents about social media” width=”300″ height=”300″ />

As the director of a pregnancy center, we are confronted with families in crisis on almost a daily basis.  More times than not, the sweet parents felt like, just last week their teen was on the right track.  They were involved in activities and are planning for the future.  They are making good grades and are even being agreeable at home.  And then almost overnight, what definitely feels like “in an instance”, everything changed when the discovered that their teen is either sexually active or even pregnant.

But the fact is, it doesn’t happen overnight.  It is progressive and there are warning signs.  We just need to learn to recognize them.  Sex is progressive and the earlier we allow our teens to begin the progression the more likely they are to engage in sexual activity in high school.  This would be one of those moments that I so wish you and I could look into one another’s face.  I know how hard it is to raise kids in our culture.  I know that when we make the kind of decisions necessary to protect and direct them, they look different and may even feel left out.   I know the pain of those choices that our teens feel and I know the deep angst that we as parents feel when our kids are hurting.
<h3>But…the fact remains…we have to choose differently if we want different results.</h3>
Cell phones given to elementary and even middle school kids open them up to so much more than we realize.  Bullying via text messaging is a tremendous problem.  Sexting…yes, even in elementary and middle school, would blow you away.  When did it become not only accepted but almost celebrated that all of the outside influences on our kids have access to them 24 hours each day?  My prayer for our children is that they would have a refuge when they walk in the door of our homes in the afternoon.  A place where they can let their guard down and be re-filled for their tomorrows…all without their phone dinging, ringing and buzzing up a storm.

If you disagree and allow your children to participate in social media, I certainly understand that.  I hope that you use the experience as a teachable moment.

Here are some suggestions, just to name a few:
<ul>
<li>Have a conversation with your teen about what is appropriate to post and what isn’t</li>
<li>Be sure you are monitoring and viewing their Facebook page, texts messages, instagram etc.  You will get a unique look into their world.</li>
<li>Set limits.  When is the turn off time each day?  Can they have their phones at the dinner table?  Can their Facebook page be open to everyone?</li>
<li>Monitor their history so that you can see the places they have visited.</li>
<li>Make them use the Internet in a public place in the house, not alone in their room.</li>
</ul>
My prayer is that we give our children time to grow and strengthen themselves before we allow the world to have a direct, powerful impact on them 24/7.  Have you ever wondered what would happen if we approached a tangible, passionate relationship with Christ with the same zeal that we approach our twitter feed?

Journeying with you,

Candy

*<a href=”http://www.commonsensemedia.com”>“Social Media, Social Life: How Teens View their Digital Lives” 6/26/12) www.commonsensemedia.com</a>