Rescue Seminar Questions: Ready, Set, Go!
Posted on December 5, 2014 in Uncategorized
I want to thank all of you who came to the RESCUE Parenting Seminar. We had a wonderful weekend with you and you were such a blessing to me. During our weekend, we invited you to text in your questions and were able to tackle a few that weekend. But we committed to answering the rest of them on the blog. I am anxious to get started on those so here we go!
“Candy, what can I do if my child’s youth pastor has spoken mean things over him such as socially retarded, weird, and pathological liar?”
Wow, I am always so sad to hear the things our teens must overcome and it isn’t any easier to be the parent of a teen who is having a difficult time. If I were in your situation, I would first sit with my teen and talk about who the Father says they are… an overcomer, more than a conqueror, chosen and equipped. I would also discuss the importance of not allowing anyone’s words that are untrue and hurtful to “stick”. The Word tells us to bless those who curse us. What a great opportunity for you and your teen to pray together that the Lord would bless this youth pastor. Then I would go and speak with the youth pastor. I would express the way those things affected your teen. There may be more to the story, but I do think that these situations should be addressed so that they don’t continue and so that strife doesn’t take root in your youth group or church. I am praying the Holy Spirit would go before you and that the relationship would be strengthened and restored.
“Candy, I have read that our kids should be nearly fully independent be the time they leave for collage or it will cripple them in their decision making. What are your thoughts?”
I agree whole heartedly that our goal as parents is to prepare our children for adulthood. I think that helping our children to learn independence is important as well. I just want to be sure that we don’t consider them “raised” before they are. I have heard my pastor, Jimmy Evans, say many times, “As long as you are moving in the right direction I will be your biggest fan. But if you get off track or show signs of rebellion, I will be your worst enemy.” My husband and I have taken this approach. Our teens are free to make their own decisions as long as they make good ones. We won’t stand by and watch them wreck the train. With that being said, I do believe strongly in natural consequences really from the time they are small all the way through. For example, when one of my sons was small he would lose his coat…regularly. I mean we had replaced his coat several times in a few months. He lost it yet again and called to tell me. My response was, “I am really sorry son, but we aren’t replacing it.” He didn’t freeze. He was well clothed and cared for…but he learned that it was important to be responsible with your things and he never lost his coat again. Natural consequences…if the consequences are not life altering and their safety is never in question, it’s a great way to demonstrate independence.
I so love hearing from you!! If you have other questions you would like us to tackle or if you would like to comment on the two I have answered here, I would love to hear from you!!
My love,
“Candy, what can I do if my child’s youth pastor has spoken mean things over him such as socially retarded, weird, and pathological liar?”
Wow, I am always so sad to hear the things our teens must overcome and it isn’t any easier to be the parent of a teen who is having a difficult time. If I were in your situation, I would first sit with my teen and talk about who the Father says they are… an overcomer, more than a conqueror, chosen and equipped. I would also discuss the importance of not allowing anyone’s words that are untrue and hurtful to “stick”. The Word tells us to bless those who curse us. What a great opportunity for you and your teen to pray together that the Lord would bless this youth pastor. Then I would go and speak with the youth pastor. I would express the way those things affected your teen. There may be more to the story, but I do think that these situations should be addressed so that they don’t continue and so that strife doesn’t take root in your youth group or church. I am praying the Holy Spirit would go before you and that the relationship would be strengthened and restored.
“Candy, I have read that our kids should be nearly fully independent be the time they leave for collage or it will cripple them in their decision making. What are your thoughts?”
I agree whole heartedly that our goal as parents is to prepare our children for adulthood. I think that helping our children to learn independence is important as well. I just want to be sure that we don’t consider them “raised” before they are. I have heard my pastor, Jimmy Evans, say many times, “As long as you are moving in the right direction I will be your biggest fan. But if you get off track or show signs of rebellion, I will be your worst enemy.” My husband and I have taken this approach. Our teens are free to make their own decisions as long as they make good ones. We won’t stand by and watch them wreck the train. With that being said, I do believe strongly in natural consequences really from the time they are small all the way through. For example, when one of my sons was small he would lose his coat…regularly. I mean we had replaced his coat several times in a few months. He lost it yet again and called to tell me. My response was, “I am really sorry son, but we aren’t replacing it.” He didn’t freeze. He was well clothed and cared for…but he learned that it was important to be responsible with your things and he never lost his coat again. Natural consequences…if the consequences are not life altering and their safety is never in question, it’s a great way to demonstrate independence.
I so love hearing from you!! If you have other questions you would like us to tackle or if you would like to comment on the two I have answered here, I would love to hear from you!!
My love,
