I had the privilege of speaking to a group of amazing women at the Vigilant Women’s Retreat in Red River, New Mexico last weekend.  When I was preparing for the weekend, I asked several women in many different stages in life what topics they would appreciate being covered in a women’s retreat.

Let me share with you a few of the things that came back to me:

• Being content in the stage you’re in.
• Empty nest – cultivating your marriage in a new season.
• Finding purpose and value in “this” stage of life.
• Comparison and competition – even over whose busiest.
• Importance of slowing down.

• At 39, I feel like I’m wading in the middle – the stay at home years were tiresome and lonely.  The future of empty nest and kids in college scare me.  This middle section seems peaceful but I’m always reflecting back or looking forward.  Hard to enjoy where I am. 
• Keeping Christ as my first love with a new husband and new born baby.
• Finding identity outside of kids.
• Being content while waiting on the Lord to bring my spouse.

What I learned from the list is that really all of the suggested topics revolved around being content in the current stage of life regardless of what stage it is!

Life can certainly be crazy, exhausting, thrilling, overwhelming, joy-filled, and sad all at once.

All of my life, I have looked ahead to the “next” stage with anxious anticipation. Am I old enough…

• to drive,

• to get married,
• to have children,
• to have babies who sleep,
• to have children who sleep, or
• to have teens who let me sleep?

Anxiously awaiting for:

• things to slow down,
• when we would have more money or take more trips,
• when everyone would be well and self-sufficient,
• when my kids would all make good grades and have good friends, and 
• to feel beautiful, smart or grown-up.

I have spent much of my life wishing for my circumstances or stage in life to change, so that I would find peace and contentment.

What is absolutely maddening about that is that, as women, we don’t like our current circumstances but then will confess that we HATE change!

We lose hope and become discontent because somewhere we have bought the lie that says…”When my circumstances change when my life reaches blissful perfection – then I will find peace, contentment, joy and the time and space to have a deeper relationship with Christ.”

We become hopeless and discontent when we realize that from one stage to the next, my life is no more perfect or less chaotic.  Contentment is not something we happen upon.
 
Philippians 4:11-13
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

1)    Contentment has nothing to do with my current circumstances or situation.  Paul said here, “I have learned to be content in every situation through Christ who gives me strength.”

2)    Paul said “I have learned to be content”, so contentment can be learned.  It isn’t a stage we will eventually come to or something will suddenly happen to us.  It is a practice and a discipline.  (We want to be a size 6 or a better cook, what are we willing to do to make that happen?)  If I am not now content, then something IN me changes, and I become content.

3)    Contentment is a state of being – something that I am.

Content is defined as a state of peaceful happiness or satisfaction

If contentment becomes something that I am, then I carry it with me from one stage of life to the next and suddenly under any circumstance and in all situations I am content.

If contentment happens within, how do I become content?

1)    I make it a discipline to be thankful.  My husband, Brian always says, “Enjoy the good times.”

Express your thankfulness to the Lord.

Colossians 4:2 
“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”

2)    Don’t compare yourself to others and learn to celebrate others.  Pick up your sword rather than Facebook.  Your journey is not my journey.  It is yours.  (Hebrews 12:1-3 and John 21:20-22)

3)    Put your faith in God that He will fulfill your destiny.  He has a plan and He is working His plan.  When you are in a difficult stage or season – look for the lesson.  He does not allow circumstances in our lives, but that it could be used for good.  Find the good and learn from it.  Ask Him for the lesson.

4)    Create memories and learn to be in the moment.  Take time to taste, smell, see, and touch your moments and be a part of them.  (Christmas, birthdays, etc.)

We can learn to be content if…

1)    We are thankful and enjoy the good.

2)    Don’t compare ourselves to others and enjoy our journey.

3)    Put our faith in Him and learn from our situations.

4)    Create memories.

In the last moments of your life… I want you to look back and say…I lived.  I saw joy, sadness, victories and success.  I am content in all situations and I enjoyed the journey.
 
I am praying for you, reader.  Because wherever you are on your journey, you have a Shepherd and He is calling you to the High Place!

My love,