Praying for Communications with Your Teen

“To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” Proverbs 18:13

Communicating with our children is one of the most important things we do each day.  It is not “fact gathering”—but rather, it is truly connecting and understanding what makes them tick, what excites them, what upsets them, and what brings them hope.  Communicating is choosing to focus in on their facial expressions.  It’s studying the crease he gets between his eyebrows when he’s stressed, or the twinkle she gets in her eyes when she talks about her kitten.  Communication is fighting the urge to solve her teenage friendship problems, but instead allowing her to talk herself through to her own solution.  It is teaching him to drive and being thankful for the laughter and screams you share together as he learns.  It’s believing he could play in the major leagues even on the days he can’t get out of the batter’s box.  It is believing she will someday make a house a home as you pick her socks up off the bathroom floor for the 100^th time.

Remember, relationships are a two-way street, and your children (yes, even your teens) want to know and understand you.  Although it may take a while for them to admit it, you are their hero and they want to feel connected to you and valuable to you.  Communicating is far more than fact-finding.  It is throwing a rope from your heart to theirs and then pulling it in close.

As parents, we have some of the most precious, just-between-us experiences with our children.  I love that when Madi is playing volleyball, I can see her look my direction out of the corner of her eye and I know just what she is thinking.  I love that I end almost every text to Jake with “4,” and only he and I know the significance of that.  Those things are so dear to me because I can almost read an article in your mind about their day by simple watching how they walk to the car after school.  You can know that when difficult topics present themselves—and they will—you will be able to communicate with your teen.

Lord, help us to truly know and connect with our children.  We don’t want to be deceived about who they are or what struggles they face.  Also Father, You know I like to swim in the deep waters, not just splash around near the shore.  It takes communication to move from the shallow and meaningless to the deep and powerful, and with it comes our ability to touch the hearts of our teens.  Help us not to settle with wading.  We want to swim.  We love You.

I hope you will give it a shot.  Here’s a question for you to get you started:

What is your favorite time of the day, and why?

Hebrews 4:15-16—“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Exodus 33:11—“The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.”

James 1:19—“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Proverbs 18:20-21—“From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

2 Corinthians 6:11—“We have spoken freely to you…and opened wide our hearts to you.”

Psalm 19:14—“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

Thank you for sticking with me and praying for your teens with me.  I’m looking forward to seeing what God has in store for our teens in 2016!

My love,

 

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