Wouldn’t we as parents love it if the hours we spent exercising or doing a quiet time, taking our vitamins or eating vegetables could have a direct benefit on our children? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we did the hard work and our kids received the benefit?

Wonderful, but not realistic.

The sad fact is, we can’t fight their battles either. Not any more than we can take their vitamins for them. Just doesn’t work that way.

I see parents so ready to come to the aid of their children because things aren’t always fair. Their math teacher doesn’t like them, or their coach was unfair. So parents call whoever happens to be in authority to set things straight…to make sure their child is treated fairly.

Pretty ironic that an attempt to insure fairness really is an act of injustice to our child.

When we step in and try to solve all of the issues our children face we weaken them and we steal from them the joy of effort and achievement.   Succeed or fail, it feels good to set your sights on something and work hard to achieve it. Like working out and lifting weights builds their physical muscles–overcoming adversity and working hard builds strength in their character.

Our children’s self-esteem is not improved or sustained by our empty praises and accolades. Their identity is in Christ and their self-esteem is strengthened when they succeed or fail, win, or lose…effort, sweat, tears, goals, persistence…builds overcomers.

I am with you…I have cried into my pillow just moments after having given one of mine a pep talk and prayed over a situation with a coach or a teacher. I know it isn’t easy to send them out the door knowing that sometimes, even when they are doing the right thing and handling the situation with integrity that it may not work out the way we hope.

The thing is…God chose just the right stones and slingshot necessary for your teen to slay their Goliath. Their weapons and armor won’t look like anyone else’s, it is custom fit for them. But trust the process, He knows what He is doing. He is the ultimate overcomer and He knows just how to train those who follow Him.

Struggle well.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither present not the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39.

My love,