I read a short section in the book Wild at Heart by John Eldridge several years ago, and it absolutely changed my approach to my sons.  Mr. Eldridge talked about the importance of the approach that a mother takes with her son and how that approach shapes their relationship later in life.  I love my boys and I know you love yours, as well.  I pray daily that we will remain close, and that they will realize I am in their corner always.  I want to do my part to insure they never have trouble relating to me.

Wild at Heart is a book about a man’s heart– he has a battle to fight and an adventure to conquer.  He desires to know that he has what it takes to be a man and to know that he is strong.

If you are anything like me, you are full to the brim with nurture and love for those energetic, funny, precious boys.  I had nicknames for the boys and I loved to sing songs to them.  I love to have them lay their heads in my lap and to scratch their backs.  I make their meals, wash their clothes, pack their bags, and leave notes in their lunch boxes.  I pray for them at night and many times go in and watch them sleep.  I doctored many cuts and kissed more than my share of black eyes (thanks to wrestling).  I adore my boys and I want to make things as easy for them as possible.

We want our boys to have a relationship with us.   But, do we consider that the things we do and the way we approach them often times does not aid them in their journey, their adventure, their battle?  Years ago, I would have been the first mom to kiss my son goodbye in the school drop off lane at the middle school or to yell, “Good luck sweet boy!” at a baseball game.  Or, how about running out on to the court or the field when they are hit with a ball or elbowed in the eye?  We are simply trying to be a loving mom, but have we thought about how that makes our boys feel?

They are trying to become strong young men, and our approach either encourages that or causes him to question his masculinity and create awkwardness between us–this is obviously not the goal.  Allow your son to grow into a man and allow him to feel strong around you.

I ask my sons to open tough jars for me and carry heavy groceries.  I try very hard not to embarrass them by babying them.  Sure, I hug and kiss them and I am very tender to them, but it is usually at home after the big game.  I would never run onto the field these days if my son has a sprained ankle.  He is a man and I need to honor that.

In no way am I suggesting that our sons should not submit to us and obey and honor us.  They simply must.  But, if I want my boys to be confident in their relationship with me, the first woman in their lives, I need to show them honor and respect as well.  I need to treat them like they are strong and capable.  I want my boys to relate to me their whole lives, not just when they are “my little snookums”…a lot of that it depends on me.

Much love,