I thought a lot about you guys this weekend…you know, you…you parents who are sometimes called too strict, too involved, too nosey, goody two-shoes…you know “Those Parents”.  I am one of you.  You are one of those parents if other teens say things to their parents about your children like, “Even John is getting to go this time! Please say yes.”  Or when one of your children is excluded from the group texts of her teammates because they already know that her parents are too strict and she won’t be allowed to participate.  You know you are one of those parents when your friends say things to you like, “You can’t protect them from everything.”; “If you don’t let them experiment now, they will go wild when they go to college.”; “Come on lighten up.”

I had one of those weekends…when I felt like, wow, people really think we are over the top hard on our kids…and I decided to write.  Here you go…

True Confessions of the Goody Two Shoes Parents:

• I do not think I am perfect. Far from it.  I know exactly what I am capable of because I have made lots of mistakes over the course of my life.  I do not know all of the right answers when it comes to parenting, and I am not observing and assessing your parenting.  I am too caught up in trying to hear Him on behalf of my own family.
• I do not think I have perfect kids. My kids are teenagers just like yours and they make mistakes.  My goal is not that they be perfect, but that they develop character, reflective of their relationship with Christ and of their family and our values.
• I do not want my kids to be placed in unsafe or adult situations. I am careful of the places they are allowed to go because I know that bad things do happen.  If you choose to let your child go to such places, that is your prerogative and I do not have an opinion about it.
• I do not want my children to have an addiction of any kind. I have seen alcohol and drugs destroy many families very close to me.  I want more than that for my child.
• I want my kids to learn to work hard and do their best. If they are playing on a team, they will give their best effort and they will contribute.  I give you my word that I will not scream hurtful degrading things at your child and I would appreciate it if you don’t at mine.
• I want my teens to remain pure until marriage. We are instilling in our kids to value others and to not take anything from another person.  Purity is a valuable gift that can only be truly appreciated in marriage.  We teach our kids to value and protect people you date so that they will have that most beautiful and precious part of themselves intact on their wedding day, because I certainly want my child’s to be.
• My teens value family. If my teenager is asked to go to a party or on a date during a time when we are spending time together as a family or there is a family function, they will humbly decline.  Our time with them is short.
• I want my teens to make an impact. I believe that they have talents, abilities and giftings because the Lord would like them to make a difference.  I want them to touch people, to be insightful and to make an impact.
• Social media is not an option for teens. The dangers are real. The consequences are life-long.
• I want my teens to love the Lord with all of their being. Most every situation in life allows opportunity to do this better.  We try and take our opportunities.

If you are one of those parents like me…I want to encourage you.  It will continue to be hurtful when other parents think you are a prude or too over the top.  It will continue to hurt your child’s feelings when they feel left out or are made fun of.  But as I made my list of just the first few things that came to mind…we are not over the top.  It isn’t too much to expect for our families.  You aren’t prude or crazy.  And another thing…the goal of your parenting choices isn’t to make other people feel better about their parenting.  You have one shot with these kids.  You keep listening and doing exactly what He says.  Because fact is, one day…He will want an account.  I don’t think, “Well I didn’t want to be one of those parents” is going to cut it.

Call me goody two shoes.  I love my kids and yours.

My love,

Buy Candy’s book Rescue here! 

You can swim confidently into the murky waters of parenting teens! Rescue offers wisdom, encouragement, and practical applications. Working with a group of young “Lifeguards” throughout the book, Candy Gibbs gives struggling parents the life preservers they need to rescue teens from a drowning culture. With Biblical insights and Candy’s own creative techniques, Rescue is the “Noah’s Ark” of parenting books, ensuring that today’s teens will carry on a legacy of godliness to generations to come. Find out more!