“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge the younger women to love their husband and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Titus 2:3-5

Can I just say that this scripture has not only urged me to be a good wife and mother through the years, but my faithful friends living out the admonition of this passage have talked me off the ledge, talked me out of hysterics, driven me to my knees, calmed my fears and made me laugh until my sides ached!  Seasons have changed somewhat. At this season of life, I have graduated to the encourager phase (dare I say older!) Though we always need people ahead of us in the journey encouraging us, we need those younger than us that we are pouring into. Oh, how I love those the Lord has divinely placed as my bookends!

When Brian and I were dating and preparing for marriage I had wonderful woman who gave me great advice: always keep your marriage first, don’t stress about the small things and never stop laughing together.  Then throughout pregnancies and sleepless nights with babies and toddlers, the “older women” in my life brought meals, prayed for us and rocked colicky babies so I could sleep!  The teenage years are a blur, but I can hear the many different beautiful voices of my friends saying things like enjoy every moment, don’t stop we can see the finish line, don’t take yourself so seriously, and battles are won on your knees. But the transition from teen to young adult, that long drive(regardless of the number of miles) to college drop might be the most breathtaking and heart wrenching moment of them all.

I have three children.  My oldest son, Tanner, a former US Airman, and his precious wife, Whitney, and my four grands are settled just down the street from us after many years of living away.  My son, Jake, is an emergency medicine resident physician in Lubbock, and my baby, Madison, is now a CPA!  We have certainly had a multitude of transitions and my family can attest, I did not always transition well.

I know how you moms of college freshman are feeling… I know it all too well. To be honest, my kids did really well. They were and are physically, academically, emotionally and spiritually strong.  They rarely needed re-directing, let alone, punishment.  They were mature, strong and prepared.  They had victory and adversity and learned tough life lessons in the midst of both.  They are champions.

But when it came to being the mom of a freshman in college … when the tears came (and there were a lot of them), it wasn’t out of worry or fear that we hadn’t prepared them.  The tears were simply because…I missed them deeply, to the deepest part of my soul and I wasn’t ready for the transition.

For those moms standing looking into the quickly approaching unavoidable horizon of sending a child off to school…I would like to share a few of the nuggets some shared with me and some learned. Thank you, Suzanne, Suzy, my Brenda and countless others for living reverent lives and being such an encouragement and safe place to so many of us…

• You have done a wonderful job. All the late-night runs to Walmart for the last-minute project supplies (ok I know they assigned them 6 weeks ago but you know what I mean) and nachos at midnight so you could have some talk time…it all mattered.
• Write a note to leave with them when you say goodbye on move in day. I know we have so many things we want to say but it may be hard for the words to come in that moment.  Take a little time to put your heart in writing and then leave it under their pillow.
• Make plans for the next time you will see them. It will give everyone something to look forward to and it will help with the missing.
• Set a time to talk to them each week. Texting is wonderful, but your momma’s heart is going to need to hear their voice. We can tell a lot just by their tone. 😊
• Your relationship doesn’t have to change. This one actually came from Jake when we dropped him off at college!  He said, “Mom just because I am not living here doesn’t mean our relationship has to change.  We will always be close and you will always be my momma.”
• Tears are cleansing. Let them come.  They are simply authentic love.
• There are so many beautiful things about this new season. Learn to find the beauty and wonder in it.

Well, that’s it.  I will have you on my heart as you and I both face the transition and changes that lie ahead. We can do this!!  I will leave you one last thing Jake said to me during one of my many…well you know… 😊 and believe me, I intend to put it into practice once again!

“Momma, breathe.  You have done a great job. Now it is time for me to do mine.”

My love,