Read the first part of this three part blog here! I am so thankful you’ve chosen to learn more about CareNet! I had the honor to speak at this year’s banquet and here is more of my speech…

Our young people are doing a lot. They are often very active and involved. Let me share some statistics with you:

• 58.7% of high school students attend college
• 57% students age 6 to 17 involved in extracurricular activities
• 25% of 16 year olds work
• 46% of high students and 62% of seniors are sexually active

What we “do” does not define our young people. Many of them are involved in sports and extracurricular activities. But what happens when someone is smarter than they are, faster than they are or stronger than they are? The identity of the next generation, cannot be being the best academically or athletically. If your identity is based on a sexual relationship outside of marriage or simply having sex with as many partners as you can…what happens when that relationship ends or I find myself pregnant or with a sexually transmitted infection? “I am devastated and hopeless…because I allowed what I do to define who I am.”

Michael Phelps holds the record for the most gold medals won in a single Olympics. He won 8 gold medals in one Olympic games. Within weeks of coming home from those games, Michael was hopeless and alone in his room contemplating suicide.

Why would that be? Because what we do is not the fact of who we are, it is not our identity.

What I do changes. Seasons change, positions change, I am not what I do. I am the Executive Director of CareNet Pregnancy Centers & Mentoring Programs—but that does not define who I am. I am a mom and that is the job in my life that I am most proud of, but Brian and I are soon to be empty-nesters. Being a mother to my children and wife to Brian does not define who I am. What we do is ever changing.

We cannot teach our children, our teens, the next generation to base their identity on what they do…on shifting sand…what they do changes and when it does it will shake them to the core if they identity is connected to it.

Secondly, Others’ opinions of me cannot define us. If your identity is based on the criticism or the praise of people, you will feel unknown, alone, and like a hypocrite.

Proverbs 12:2 says “The fear of man lays a snare but whoever trusts the Lord is safe.”

Finding your identity in what others say or think about you (good or bad) is like quicksand—you will lose yourself in it.

If those few things I listed, examples of other people saying things to or about me, or just other’s opinions about me had such an effect on me…just image what your children and grandchildren deal with through technology and social media.

A few more statistics to consider:

• Teens are spending more than one-third of their days using media such as online video or music — nearly nine hours on average, according to a new study from the family technology education non-profit group, Common Sense Media. For tweens, those between the ages of 8 and 12, the average is nearly six hours per day.
• 93 percent of males and 62 percent of females under the age of 18 struggle with some level addiction to porn
• One study found that 72 percent of college students — 93 percent of males and 62 percent of females — had seen porn before they turned 18, and another study found that 87 percent of college-aged men and 31 percent of college-aged women reported using pornography.
• In 2016 alone, one porn site that I will not name got 23 BILLION visits. That’s 729 people a second, or 64 million a day—nearly equal to the population of the United Kingdom.
• Enough porn was watched in 2016 on this one website that all the data would fill 194,000,000 USB sticks. If you put the USB sticks end to end, they’d wrap all the way around the moon.
• Last year alone, 91,980,225,000 videos were watched on that one particular site. That’s 12.5 videos for every person on the planet.
• Also, 4,599,000,000 hours of porn were watched on the site in just one year. That’s equal to 5,246 centuries.
• According to research by security technology company Bitdefender, kids under the age of 10 now account for 22% of online porn consumption among the under 18 age.
• A recent study conducted by the NSPCC ChildLine found that a tenth of 12 to 13-year-olds fear they may have a compulsion to pornography. That’s right, a whole 10% of kids who just started 7th grade are saying they are already watching porn to the point where they are concerned and don’t feel like they can stop.

Daily…Ana my coworker and I talk with parents who are devastated by something that their child was exposed to through social media or the internet.

AND YET…

We allow our 2^nd graders to have cell phones.

Cell phones that contain pornography far worse than the magazines of 20 years ago…in the hands of 8 year olds.  We used to think that we should talk to boys about pornography around the age of 13…well, I can tell you that I have personally talked to multiple 8-10 year old girls who were exposed to porn by accident and now say they have some level of addiction to it.

I am going to be very bold here but I am 100% convinced I am right. If you have a teen or child of any age, whether boy or girl, if they have Instagram or access to YouTube, whether you use a filter or not…they have seen porn. 100% probability

Our 5^th and 6^th graders are allowed to date… 91% of the time they will have sex before they graduate from high school.  And are talking about oral sex in the lunch rooms.

We have so lowered our expectations as parents, that we believe if we make it until high school graduation and no one is pregnant or addicted to drugs we have succeeded.

I am begging you to stop allowing other people’s opinion of you to somehow shape your identity. I do not care of other parents think you are a goody two shoes or overboard. For the love of your children…we must deal with this attack on our families, and unapologetically. 

After looking into the eyes of an 8-year-old girl who is regularly viewing porn and seeing the shame and pain in her sweet face…or sitting with a middle school young man while we talk with his parents about the porn he has seen and the pictures and videos he has of himself on his device and seeing the disappointment, hopeless and brokenness in their faces… I am going to tell you what guys that will change you!

I am not shocked by the level of attack by the enemy…but I am blown away by the lack of outrage by Christian leaders and parents.

You identity is not found in the opinion of others. Your family is called to stand out to be sanctified and set apart.  Pick up your sword and fight.

Please join me as I continue to share with you all God is doing in and through CareNet!

My love,

Learn more and give to CareNet today!

Thank you Nicole Dunnam Photography!