Simply, there is far too much noise in the room. Regardless of the fact that I believe too many people are shouting from one roof top or another far too often, with too much volume, and dare I say with impure motives…I have decided to give my two cents on the Kavanaugh situation.

I am a woman, obviously. Oh wait, in today’s culture maybe not so obvious. I am a woman, I don’t just identify as one. I am a real biological, born female… and I am the mother of two sons and a daughter. I love the Lord with all that I am and that isn’t saying much. I am not perfect now and certainly have not been perfect in the past, especially as a teenager. I am the Executive Director of a ministry that deals daily with sexual issues and the consequences thereof. My husband and I have raised our daughter to expect respect and to conduct herself in a respectful manner. We have also raised our sons to value women and to protect a woman’s value with their behavior.

I am not going to take a side on who I think is right or wrong in the Kavanaugh situation. Fact is, no one can take that stand because what we have, ladies and gentlemen, is one person’s word against another. What I would like to do is address a few simple points that I have seen posted all over social media, in other blogs, and talked about around the kitchen table.

Don’t make it political.

There are those who are trying to “de-politicize” this charade, which is ridiculous. THIS IS POLITICAL. Now, there’s a little truth for us…truth being something we have a hard time stomaching these days. Republicans want a conservative judge and they would like to have the up or down vote for this nomination before the November elections. Democrats do not want an up or down vote on Judge Kavanaugh before the November election. They held this information, founded or not, for as long as possible in hopes that further testimony and investigations would push the up or down vote past the November elections. Should they succeed with the delay and should they win the Senate, they could have a serious effect on the judge selected to fill the vacant seat on the Court.

So, all of the outcry to appeal to people not as Democrat or Republican … this is a political circumstance, America. We are trying to appoint a judge to the Supreme Court. Politics. Period. Let’s be bold enough to accept that. Republicans nominated a conservative judge. Political move. Democrats are stalling. Political. There is no taking politics out of politics. Can we be adult enough to state the obvious?

Sound bite # 1: “I don’t believe her.”

I read an article from a youth pastor, and can I say I love youth pastors? I do. I serve with them. I plan with them. I cry with them. I pray with them. I believe they are sharpening and shaping the world changers of tomorrow. They are my peeps. This particular youth pastor, who I fully believe has his heart in the right place, says we as a society are wrong for saying “I don’t believe her” …”Boys will be boys”…”That was 35 years ago.”

Let’s start with “I don’t believe her.” In our society, we operate, and praise God, under the assumption that one is innocent until proven guilty. If Judge Kavanaugh is proven guilty by factual evidence, which at this stage of the game the biggest “legal” issue is under-age drinking, then he is guilty. But at this moment we have what Dr. Ford remembers versus what Judge Kavanaugh testifies to, and there is no corroborating evidence supporting Dr. Ford. Something may surface, but today are you telling me that Dr. Ford is more credible because she is female? Because that is where the mom in me comes out. Contrary to the ridiculous “Men Are Trash” shirts that were being worn at a protest, I believe you are dead wrong.

I am a strong woman, I have an opinion, and I love many incredible men in my life. There are men who are scum and there are women who lie. Period. We all better settle in for this investigation, but I can promise you, contrary to my youth pastor friend’s assessment, my daughter’s identity and value will not be affected by the outcome. And if you are the mother of sons, you’d better wake up and educate your boys on the environment they are living in.

I do not in any way condone boys harming or disrespecting girls, but I also will not stand idly by and watch as upstanding, strong, godly young men are villainized.  “Boys will be boys”… whoever said that isn’t committed to raising honorable young men. My husband and I have held our boys to very high standards, and they are not perfect but they respect women, they love their sister, and they are incredible young men, not trash.

No one is giving young men the go-ahead to abuse women. No one. But it should take more than, “I think I remember” to ruin a man’s life.

Sound bite #2: “That was 35 years ago.”

Are you kidding me? If we were talking about rape, which even Dr. Ford is not claiming, then no one would be saying “that was 35 years ago.” That is wrong and despicable. From her own account (not to mention that Kavanaugh and the other witnesses deny it all together) but from her own account we are talking about underage drinking and inappropriate behavior. Would you want to be judged on your behavior at a party when you were 17? I did things as a teenager that I am embarrassed by, no, mortified. Should my character today be based on my decisions as a minor? Should yours?

All of us who are so quick to, I’m sure with the best motives, rally behind the accusations, my question is would you throw your teenage decisions in the ring to be judged on a national level? I wouldn’t, I can promise you that. And then require that Judge Kavanaugh defend himself with no passion or emotion? Give me a break. Hold yourself to the same standard. We would have been cowering in a college safe room, sucking our thumbs with our teddy bears weeks ago. It is my sincere hope that we are all different people today than the person our high school yearbook remembers.

It would be a different scenario today.

If this same situation happens with our children, boys or girls, it will be a very different scenario. All of their actions are caught on video, and they will give an account. Rather than coddling our kids and worrying about the “words and terms” they hear unless they are “hiding under a rock,”(as stated by my youth pastor friend) you’d better start equipping them to live in this culture. The choices they make matter. I say we dump the ridiculous “safe” rooms and raise our children to be strong, thoughtful, respectful contributors to society. Use whatever terms you want to describe this political charade. Those of us who serve the King are raising overcomers.

“You are braver than you believe and stronger and smarter than you think.” Winnie the Pooh.

I can give you fifty young people who more capable of making a reasonable argument to this situation than all of the Sunday morning news shows combined. This is a sad day in America. There is still truth, a person must prove wrongdoing, politics are nasty, people are treated unfairly. It offends me when people label our teenagers as unable to handle the difficulties we face in this country. They can and much better than we appear to be able to.

Much love,

Buy Candy’s book Rescue here! 

You can swim confidently into the murky waters of parenting teens! Rescue offers wisdom, encouragement, and practical applications. Working with a group of young “Lifeguards” throughout the book, Candy Gibbs gives struggling parents the life preservers they need to rescue teens from a drowning culture. With Biblical insights and Candy’s own creative techniques, Rescue is the “Noah’s Ark” of parenting books, ensuring that today’s teens will carry on a legacy of godliness to generations to come. Find out more!